The Nocturnal Emissions Enabler
by MariaAlbina
Summary: What were these so called nightmares that Sheldon has from his sex book really about? ONE-SHOT. Shamy smut.


**Just a smutty one-shot I thought of one day and have been wanting to put to paper. (or laptop) Enjoy!**

_And for your information, that book gave me nightmares._

Resting his head back on his pillow that was flattened against the bottom of his headboard, Sheldon slid down his bed and retrieved the book from on top of his nightstand.

Feeling it against his fingers, he felt as if his hands were burning. He slowly sucked in a breath as he opened up to the second chapter for the tenth time that month before reading the chapter title.

_Knowing What Feels Right For Her  
_

Releasing the breath he was holding, he stared at the first sentence and felt his pulse quicken.

_Satisfying her needs in bed is the main goal for any selfless man/woman.  
_

He was astounded he had even made it through the first chapter. Of course it was basically an introduction stating how everyone has these feelings and it's natural and blah blah blah. But, the thought of even reading about sex for the fact that he wanted to prepare himself if the time ever came with Amy, scared the life out of him. It made things seem much too real.

The things he did for that woman.

As he skimmed through the first page, a sentence caught his eye.

_The clitoris (clit) is the human female's most sensitive erogenous zone and the primary source of female sexual pleasure. pg 24_

"Well, what is a clitoris?" He looked up the given page number before he found himself staring at a very detailed drawing of a man's finger pressing down on a woman's clit.

"Good Lord!"

He quickly snapped the book closed and opened his nightstand to throw the book inside before slamming the draw shut.

Sliding down further into his bed and reaching back to lay the pillow flat on the mattress, he placed his hands beside him before closing his eyes. He knew if he just went to sleep he could forget about what he saw and maybe, just maybe, he could try again in a week.

Or year. No rush.

Sheldon had no idea that the book would haunt his sleeping more than it ever could in his wake.

_Sheldon stared down at a naked Amy Farrah Fowler spread eagle on his bed as he found himself holding her left ankle up resting on his shoulder. Her chest rose and fell as he slid his hand up her calf and then to her upper thigh and down again as his free hand moved to her core and his index finger lightly circled down on her clit, just like he had read. _

_Her cries were hypnotizing and it only egged him on further as he picked up speed; his hand aching a little with the effort. He could feel her leg shaking in his hand. He never slowed down his actions, though, and when she cried out in ecstasy he felt himself twitch under his briefs._

_"Wow," she breathed, trying to regain her breath, "you really know what you're doing," she gave a soft, shy smile. _

_Sheldon stared at Amy's flushed face before looking down at his hand, covered in Amy's juices, utterly shocked by what it had just committed. _

Sheldon quickly awoke in a sweat drenched bed, gasping for breath. Sitting up, he quickly looked down at his hands as if there were blood on them.

There wasn't cum on them either, but he still felt the strong urge to wash them.

Ripping the covers off of him, he sat up in bed before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He looked over at the nightstand where the book was throw into and shuddered before he felt a twitch in his briefs.

He dropped his eyes to his lap and gasped, staring at the tent in his pajama pants.

"No." He shook his heads repeatedly. "No, no. no." His eyes flung to check the clock. 6:51. He had 9 minutes until his scheduled time for the bathroom. He knew if he wanted to keep himself from displaying his erection to anyone who might walk into their apartment in the next nine minutes, he needed to wait in his room for the remaining time before he could take his shower.

He would not fall victim to self-abuse.

* * *

"Sheldon, are you all right?"

He quickly turned his head to Amy who was sitting on the couch beside him. "What?"

"Well, you haven't made one comment since the movie started. I'm usually ready to rip your tongue out by now."

It had been almost a week since he read the book last and the same dream had been occurring every night since. He had taken more cold showers that week than all last year.

Sheldon shook his head as he paused the movie and stood before making his way to the fridge and pulling out the pecan pie he had prepared when he returned from work that afternoon. He needed something to take his mind off of that dream since his writings on his white board started to morph into a drawing of a very graphic novel.

He assumed baking would be safer.

Amy had made her way over to the counter when she saw his pie and sat herself down at the island. "Wow," she smiled when he turned his back to get some utensils, "You really know what you're doing."

Sheldon felt his eye twitch at her words, a moment of deja vu ripping through him.

_Get yourself together. She meant nothing like that.  
_

He turned around with two forks and paper plates before setting them down on the counter.

He then cut them each a piece, placing them on the plates and pushing one toward Amy. "Looks delicious. What made you want to bake a pie?"

"Umm... I was talking to my mother earlier and she was mentioning my Meemaw's famous pecan pie. I got a craving for it." _Seems legitimate._

He watched Amy take the first bite before she hummed with the fork still in her mouth. "Wow, this is amazing."

Sheldon gave a smug smile as he carried his plate over to the couch and Amy followed before they continued their chosen film.

* * *

Sheldon didn't know how it happened, but he found himself with the book in his hand again that night while laying in bed.

The next chapter didn't sound as scary as the previous one.

_Oral pleasure_

"As in bring her to orgasm with my words? I could do that."

He enjoyed the idea of not having to touch her to pleasure her. Maybe Amy would be OK with that as well as long as she was satisfied.

Excited to hear more about this vocal pleasure he continued reading.

_Oral sex or oral intercourse is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the lips, tongue, and/or throat._

His eyes bugged out of his head as he reread the sentence. "How- why would anyone want to touch their... with their... Oh Lord." He swallowed hard, ready to put the book down for the second time in one week when his eyes found an almost too comforting word.

_Tea Bag _

Deciding nothing could be inappropriate about tea bags, he read the sentence.

_To tea bag is a slang term for the sexual act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth of a willing sexual partner._

Before he even read the last word, he threw the book across the room and wiped his hands on his lap, as if evidence was visible. Panic instantly set in as he desperately wished he could use one of Leonard's inhalers.

Sheldon vowed to never read the book again as he finally drifted off to sleep.

_"Fuck. Oh god, Sheldon."_

_Sheldon looked up from his spot between her legs to watch as her teeth clenched and she reached out to rack her hands in his hair as she pushed his head further into her core._

_He lapped his tongue and sucked on her clit as he tasted the juices seeping out of her. He could feel her shudder against him. He kept at it, though, until she finally came down from her high and he sat up licking his lips._

_He watched Amy stand up before she curled her finger with a smirk, motioning him to join her. He slowly stepped off the bed before he stood barely a feet from her naked form. He watched in confusion as she got down on her knees before she unzipped his green khakis and pulled them down along with his briefs. She then, took his length in her hand and let her tongue swipe over the tip. His jaw dropped and he watched her with hooded lids when he could barely keep them open.  
_

_"Shit." Sheldon had no choice, but to tip his head back in pleasure as Amy took him fully into her mouth, sucking on him like he was her popsicle on a hot, summer day.  
_

_"Amy.." He reached a hand down and pushed her hair out of her face so he could watch. He didn't know what it was about watching her pleasure him, but he could do it all day._

_He groaned in desperate need when he felt her pull her mouth off of him and observed as she took his length in her hand and lightly pulled it up before she took his scrotum between her lips.  
_

_"Oh.. my.. God." He clenched his fists as his head tilted from the left to the right, strangled moans escaping his throat as he pushed his hips closer to her face.  
_

_His senses were no use for him as far as he was concerned. He could feel himself ready to burst and managed to lower his head just in time to watch Amy as he was brought to orgasm. Luckily, Amy could tell by the bucking of his hips that he was nearing the end and pulled her face back, continuing to stroke his cock as he released on her hand.  
_

"Oh Amy."

Sheldon woke up to the sound of his own moan before he quickly peeled the sheets from his sweaty body to reveal his stained pajama pants. He sat up in bed and stared at the book that was discarded on the floor, almost mocking him.

"I need to burn this book."

* * *

"And then someone drove by me as I opened my car door and decided to speed through a puddle, soaking me. My car smells like mud and I burned my dinner. This was the day from hell." She looked at her lap as she sighed.

"Mhm."

Amy turned her head and stared at him in annoyance as he fiddled with his thumbs. "Sheldon. I'm upset. Aren't you going to offer me tea?"

"Oh. Of course." He stood up from the couch before making his way to the kitchen. "Is chamomile your choice?"

Amy stood from her spot on the couch. "What other kinds of teabags?" Sheldon shuddered at the word and Amy noticed. "Are you cold? Want me to grab you a blanket?"

"I'm fine," he assured her as he opened up his box of tea bags. "I have Peppermint, Chamomile, Orange Blossom Spice, Chai and Lemon Zest."

"Ooh, I'll try the Orange Blossom Spice."

He nodded as he took out the tea bag and placed it into the empty mug before he put the kettle on .

"So how was your day?" She set herself down at the counter.

Sheldon turned from the stove before shrugging. He couldn't tell her that he had somehow envisioned her coming into his office and getting him off under his desk and how he got little work done because every time he picked up a physics book, the words morphed into the same words in that damn sex book. Or when calculating the random motion of virtual particles in a vacuum, suddenly the particles morphed into an image of Amy's dandruff gently cascading down on to her pale, slightly hunched shoulders.

It had been a week since the last time he read the book and the dreams weren't getting any more innocent.

"Same as every other day."

"Do you have any more of that pecan pie you made the other day?"

He nodded before he retrieved it from the fridge and cut her a slice. It was actually a second pie since he had devoured the first, but she didn't need to know he was baking on the regular to distract him from his wet dreams.

"You should make this for us more often. I could eat this every night."

He watched as she slowly took the fork covered in pie into her mouth, sucking the treat off it, finding his mouth had gaped at the sight.

Amy never noticed as she was too far into her slice of heaven, and Sheldon only came to his senses when he heard the tea kettle go off.

Once he poured their mug with boiled water, he took her tea bag and slowly lifted it before sinking it into the mug, repeating this act a few times until he realized exactly where that sex act got its name and he gasped, accidentally knocking the mug over.

"Sheldon!"

He watched her grab her plate and jump off the chair.

Checking to make sure she was still dry and not burned, he grabbed the roll of paper towels and started to absorb the evidence.

It was getting harder and harder to be around Amy Farrah Fowler, and Sheldon knew there was more truth to that than he wanted to admit.

* * *

That night, Sheldon laid in bed afraid to fall asleep like he had been the last couple weeks.

He was torn between his head dreading the nocturnal emissions and his smaller head craving them.

He thought of the book that he somehow couldn't seem to throw away or burn as he had planned. Instead, it was stored away in his closet in the back where it could no longer mock him.

He could feel his eyes growing heavy after half an hour of ceiling staring. He was more than terrifying to fall asleep, but his eyes didn't seem to care.

"_Sheldon, please!"_

_Sheldon had Amy trapped against her apartment door, his hands on either side as his mouth was descending on her throat, his erection pressed against her core. _

_If Sheldon didn't know this was a dream before, he definitely knew now by the way both of their clothes disappeared in the next moment. _

_He felt Amy tighten her grip on his waist until he reached down between her and the door and filled his hands with her firm ass as he lifted her, pressing her back against the door once again as she moved her arms around his neck._

_"Take me, Sheldon. Please." _

_He groaned at her plead as he reached between them and took himself in his hand before he thrust himself inside her. _

_"Fuck! Oh God, Sheldon. Yes!"  
_

_He drove into her harder, moving a hand from her ass cheek to the door as he thrust his hips in sync to her screams._

_"Shit, you feel good." He buried his head in her neck and sunk his teeth into her flesh as her nails dug into his shoulders.  
_

Reality Sheldon was working hard on his erection, pumping himself in his hand as he envisioned his hand being Amy's wet walls.

_"I'm going to cum," he groaned against her neck and he soon felt her fingers graze his cock every time he pulled back to drive back in._

_Sheldon was a goner._

_"_Shit!" Waking up in a sweat, he threw his head back as he rode out his orgasm before he threw his schedule to the wind and ran to take a shower at 3:43am.

* * *

Sheldon was nervous. Amy had asked him to come to her apartment for their monthly date night instead of going out to some restaurant like usual. Since his dream last night, he wasn't exactly comfortable going to Amy's place so soon.

He somehow ended up arriving twenty minutes early and decided he needed those minutes to get himself together when he found himself staring at her door and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

He sat down with his back to the door before he pulled his knees up to his chest.

_Relax Sheldon. It's just Amy. This isn't dream Amy. _He quickly pinched himself to make sure this was, in fact, not a dream before sighing in relief.

When twenty minutes had passed, he got to his feet and faced the door as if it was the entrance to Hell. Then, with one finally deep breath, he connected his fist with the door and performed his signature knock.

Amy nearly skipped from the kitchen to the door to welcome her boyfriend.

He put on a smile as she opened the door but it didn't need to be forced as her smile always got to him somehow.

"Seven o'clock; right on time."

"It's not an accident," he said as he turned to shut the door. "I waited outside your door for twenty minutes." At least that part was true.

"Well, Dinner's almost ready."

"I must say," he started as he took a couple steps forward and watched Amy enter her kitchen, "I was surprised you chose to spend our date night in your apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later the Lego store is having a Midnight Madness Sale. You ask anyone, that's a hot date." He would try anything to get them out of her apartment for this month's date night.

"Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight." He watched as she placed utensils on the table.

His heart started to race as visions from his nocturnal emissions danced in his head. He knew he needed to think fast. "What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?" He mentally pat himself on the back at his seemly convincing point.

"With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I have decided that we should make progress in ours as well." She lightly swung her hips as she walked closer to him, her hand grazing the back of a kitchen island chair.

"Dear lord..."

This was exactly what he was fearing.


End file.
